Oh My Holly-Jolly Goodness!

It’s the Holiday Deal You’ve Been Waiting For

Happy Holidays,  it’s Scott and boy have I got good news for you. The world changed hands overnight and now everything is wicked groovy because the main change was that all the books in the world are free!!!

Okay, they’re not. I made that up. But I’ve got news that is almost that good, and won’t lead to filling your house with 10,000,000 hardcover editions bloating both your TBR list and, frankly, every room in your house, the garage, and that metal storage shed you bought to put the lawnmower in. (And remember, you built that shed without really following the instructions. It’s a miracle it’s stayed up this long, what with the strong winds we’ve been experiencing.)But don’t even worry about that today, because I’ve got good news, remember? (, you haven’t forgotten already have you? Tsk.)

Just in time for the holidays, E2Books has released the Killer Instinct collection. 

Your next question was going to be “Huh?” wasn’t it! I foresaw.

Let me tell you a little about this huge collection of E2 thrillers. It is jam-packed with every SpyCo,  every Cleanup Crew, every Shelby 
Yes, Every.
That’s 3000 pages of pulse-pounding action, a total of 19 BOOKS!
What’s that? Break it down for you? Gladly!

SpyCo Novellas

  • Assignment: Athens
  • Assignment: Paris
  • Assignment: Istanbul
  • Assignment: Sydney
  • Assignment: Alaska
  • Assignment: Dublin
  • Assignment: London

Cleanup Crew Thrillers

  • The Beauty of Bucharest
  • The Count of Carolina
  • The Terror of Tijuana
  • The Demon of Denver

Shelby Alexander Thrillers

  • Serenity
  • Serenity Stalked
  • Serenity Avenged
  • Serenity Submerged
  • Serenity Engulfed
  • Serenity Betrayed
  • Serenity Reborn
  • Serenity Possessed

Whew!

I’ll give you a moment to catch your breath.I can see how you might need to recover for a moment, much like this lovely young lady who is recovering from the first successful head transplant, while her doctor shows her that he just bought the Killer Instinct Collection and is telling her that if she were a doctor she could have a copy of her own.

You know what?

Doctors can be such weiners!

Listen, you don’t need to be a doctor. You just need to love great thrillers, oh and be able to work the internet.  Okay. Do you feel like you have your legs back under you? Because if you do, that’s good. If you feel like you have your legs under your back, that is different and you should see a doctor at once. Even if he’s a weiner. But if you have recovered from that monstrously long list of titles it’s time to talk about price.

“Oh, we knew that was coming.”

Well, of course it was, but stay with me.

In the infomercials, this is where a man whose parents had the foresight to actually name him “The Pitchman,” says to the other person, (who we in the business call “The Stooge” or in rare cases for reasons we’ve never had fully explained to us, “The Ostrich”), “Well, Miss Mary Muffin, what would you expect to pay for all of this entertainment?”

Mary Muffin, (who, in yet another twist, actually is an ostrich), would do some quick mental calculations and then say, “Exactly $11,234,205.”

Then the other guy would begin laughing, and he would laugh so long and so uncontrollably that he dies and has to be replaced by his son, Son of The Pitchman, who says, “No, no, Mary Muffin, the ostrich. That’s far too high. Guess again.”

This goes on for some time until Mary finally sticks her head in the sand in shame and frustration, just as Son of The Pitchman reveals that the price is actually…

$9.99!

That’s over 80% off the individual list prices of the 19 included works!

Normally I’d add some more words here designed to entice you, but I think you’re already sitting in downtown Enticeburgh, MO. (Let’s give it up for Missouri – for no reason at all!) You know you want the collection, and you know you want it NOW!!  Alright, alright. It’s cool. Click the button!

Need more?

No judgment here! We’ve got you covered because we know that the only thing you want more than E2’s Limited time offer on the Killer Instinct Collection is to show the world you love E2 Books by incorporating us into your wardrobe. 

Available Now

E2 Apparel!

They come in all colors and styles, with women’s and men’s cuts, and are just loaded with features:

  • The E2 logo, designed by Craig A. Hart after drinking an entire washtub of home-distilled whiskey/rat poison
  • A hole for each arm
  • Another hole at the top for your head
  • A big hole at the bottom for easy egress

Prices range from $14-22, depending on choices, so dooooooooo itttttttt!

See, you were thinking the holidays might be ruined this year. You know – because of the alien invasion.

Oh. Oh, you hadn’t heard about that yet? Yeah, the whole thing is kinda hush-hush. Probably better if you forget that part. 

Anyway, show the true spirit of the holidays and buy stuff!

Published by Scott Varengo

Blogger, space marine, neurosurgeon and dog polisher.

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